In honor of the holidays, I would like to recognize those members of our society who really exemplify the Spirit of the Season. Today's award goes to the fat lady wearing a velour House of Dereón tracksuit at UVU today.
I was calmly waiting for the elevator when you came into my life, pushing angrily between me and the person next to me, barking "EXCUSE ME!" as you passed. You saw that there was plenty of room to walk around us, but you elected instead to plow through us, causing us to stumble backwards in your massive wake.
As you waddled away, your entire body jiggled, much as the Jolly Old Elf jiggles when he Ho-Ho-Hos. Merry Christmas to you, and a Happy New Year. May you go on to trample many helpless people in Black Friday sales for years to come.
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