A few weeks ago, a gentleman from Morocco added me on facebook. I'm the generous sort that will add someone on facebook as long as they don't look like a sexy spambot named Jessica, but I'll generally delete them if I don't really know them and they don't try to say why they added me after a few weeks.Anyway, today he messaged me and apparently thinks I'm a woman because my profile picture is of Helen Mirren. He asked if I was married, then told me he was searching for a bride. Being the sort of person I am, I decided to go along with it and see what a Moroccan facebook friend could offer a future bride. Here is the life he promised me.
- We would live a comfortable life, but not in the United States. I tried to get him to buy a house in the Hamptons but he didn't know where that was. I settled for Cleveland, but he seemed reticent. I think he may not be allowed in the U.S....
- He told me I would bear him at least 10 children. He assured me he would still love me even after my body had been destroyed by over 10 childbirths.
- He told me I would be his only wife (I wasn't sure if he believed in polygamy, so I thought it best to check. You can never be too careful).
- He never answered me about whether or not I could hire servants, including a maid and pool-boy.
I think it's definitely for the best that it didn't work out.
2 adoring responses:
Also, he must be quite delusional if he thinks Dame Helen Mirren is going to be bearing anyone 10 children.
that's exactly what I was going to say. I mean, she's definitely a lovely woman, but you'd be lucky to get a litter out of her at this age. Snickers on the other hand... well, I'd like to get a litter out of her.
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