Saturday, October 3, 2009

Ailinglaplap Kibwe Lap's Next Top Model

A recent trend I have been noticing, perhaps since the advent of America's Next Top Model, is people trying to model who ought not model. In honor of this trend I have decided to dedicate the first cycle of Ailinglaplap Kibwe Lap's Next Top Model, the official modeling competition of this incredibly fashion-forward blog.

The contestants (from my facebook friends list):

Devin Yakiwchuk
Devin is in school for Premed, pretty driven. Hard working, he likes v neck shirts or t shirts, plaid shorts or cargos, basketball shorts, light shirts or shorts, jeans or pants. He likes a sporty look, sometimes a nice clean look, or summer look Preppy. He is very chill and easy going. He can follow direction very well, and do what needs to be done.

Javin Weaver
Did someone call for a chaiwalla? Javin is seen here modeling for the Sears Technical Support company newsletter. Need a model but don't want to pay full price? Outsource it to Javin Weaver.

Sean "Coral" Edwards
Perhaps you would prefer a model based on consistency and endurance. Coral has literally over 2,000 photos on facebook and only 3 different poses in all of them.

John Valdez
Finally, we have John Valdez. If you would like a model whose expressions tell stories, John Valdez is your man. His multi-talented face has told such stories as, "I just farted. Would you come join me?" and "Did I leave the stove on?"

And the winner of Ailinglaplap Kibwe Lap's Next Top Model is ME! Thanks to all who competed, but I've come to find that I like winning things more than giving things to others. Whether it be a free t-shirt or a contract with Ford Models and a cover story on Seventeen Magazine, I won't be satisfied until it's mine. I'd like to thank our sponsors, eGRACE International and St. Paul Pork Products, because I never could have won Ailinglaplap Kibwe Lap's Next Top Model without them.

7 adoring responses:

Kyle Ira said...

You're so flat-chested next to her...

Melanie said...

My grandmother would poke you in the back until you stood up straight.

The Reverend Dennis Busch said...

My mother would poke you in the back. But not for the same reason as Melanie's grandma.

Megs said...

oh my gosh, Cam. I'm laughing so hard right now. I remember you doing that photo shoot with Tyra. What a dream come true for you. Also, the "I just farted. Would you come join me?" face his so classic. I hope JOhn Valdez was the runner up.

Sean said...

HAHAHAHA oh i love this. hilarious. consistency and endurance. i have more than 3 faces!! i have like...4.

Beth said...

Cam, that is the ugliest picture of you I have ever seen...but, I like your bangs.
I wasn't prepared for such foulness after you prepped me with all these nice pictures of your friends. Javin, by the way, grew up across the street from me. I'm sure you knew. But, hey Javin! What up? Remember me?
Javin was the CUTEST kid I had ever seen when he was like four. He had the cutest little voice. I loved it.
Anyway, my favorite post of yours in years!

yours truly dear said...

i know javin. small world. ps you and tyra look so hott together. loves it.