So it's the 27th of December and I'm back to work. I've had several days of actually having a social life and starting to feel good about myself, but today I'm at work and I feel like crap. I can't focus. I can't think. I can't relax. I just want to run out of this building screaming at things as I go.
I have things I want to do, people I need to talk to, but instead I'm here at work staring blankly at a computer with piles of paper stacked around me. The phone rings occasionally, bringing a little variety into the routine, but mostly I just sit and stare.
I'm all alone in the office today. There's not another soul in here. Of course this means I'm listening to Regina, but it also means that I have no distraction but my own destructive thoughts. No respite from boredom but my own idealistic imagination. It's just downright torture, I swear.
Other than that, life is pretty good. I've had more happy moments lately than I usually have, so that's good. Things are looking up, even if that means that life is getting more confusing.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Scholarly Hallucinations
How do you know when you were up far too late writing a final paper? When you're in the shower half asleep and your mind starts seeing the shower as an essay, and the shampoo, the conditioner, and the body wash are the three main points discussed in the body paragraphs. Then you start to worry about how you're going to cite evidence. "How do I put shampoo in MLA format again?"
I swear, I was going insane this morning. I knew I should have just stayed awake all night, but instead I decided to fall asleep on my floor and woke up tired out of my mind. I decided to take the day off work because I have so much Spanish homework to do. I know my coworkers will probably be mad that I'm skipping work, but I would die if I didn't have time to get everything done today.
I needed a cultural activity for Spanish, so I went to the Orem library, paid my massive overdue fees, and rented "Volver." I highly recommend it. I didn't think I would like it, but it was amazing. 'Nuff said.
Anyway, I need to do some Spanish writing. It's going to take me a while because I'll need to translate a lot of words I don't know. At least it's all mostly over after this. Ahh...
I swear, I was going insane this morning. I knew I should have just stayed awake all night, but instead I decided to fall asleep on my floor and woke up tired out of my mind. I decided to take the day off work because I have so much Spanish homework to do. I know my coworkers will probably be mad that I'm skipping work, but I would die if I didn't have time to get everything done today.
I needed a cultural activity for Spanish, so I went to the Orem library, paid my massive overdue fees, and rented "Volver." I highly recommend it. I didn't think I would like it, but it was amazing. 'Nuff said.
Anyway, I need to do some Spanish writing. It's going to take me a while because I'll need to translate a lot of words I don't know. At least it's all mostly over after this. Ahh...
Monday, December 10, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Seven Things You Don't Know About Me
Well, my sister "tagged" me. I don't believe in tagging, but it was my sister that tagged me, and it's a topic I like. The whole purpose of my blog is pretty much a big "things you don't know about me" fest, so it's not too far-fetched to have to write a post about that. The first thing I usually list off in this category is "I'm colorblind" but everyone knows that one now because I'm so freaking proud of it. So here are some things that most people probably don't know about me, if you do, you're lucky.
1. Sometimes it takes me an hour to find a seat in the library. It's not that there aren't places to sit, it's that there aren't ones that I like. If I believed in feng shui or whatever, I'm sure it would have something to do with my chi, but I don't, so it's just a weird obsession. I don't like to have my back to people because I'm paranoid so I have to find a seat where I can have my back to a shelf or something, and it also needs to have a power outlet for my laptop. There are other factors as well, but I won't lay them all out here. I'm just really picky.
2. I try to find any excuse possible to swear in my papers for classes. The safest way to do it is to quote a more respectable person swearing, but there are other ways to sneak in scandalous tidbits as well. No matter how it's done, you just have to make sure that it shocks the reader but doesn't disturb the writing. It has to make sense. This might only be possible in the English major though. It's much easier for us to quote an "Out damn spot!" than for a biology major to curse about spirochetes or something. Meh.
3. I basically only wear one pair of jeans all the time. I know this one will gross out some people, but oh well. Any time I have ever gotten multiple pairs of jeans, I always end up singling out one pair that I like better than the others and I end up wearing that pair exclusively. On my mission I'd wear the same pair of pants until you could write messages in the dust of my pant-legs. Yeah, I'm gross, but I wasn't the only one. It was fun. We'd sit in church and write messages to each other on our legs. Good times.
4. I watch Avatar: The Last Airbender and I love it. My niece and nephew love Avatar, so I watched a few episodes with them and liked it. Since then I found a website that has all the episodes of Avatar on it (http://www.avatarchapter.com/) and I've been addicted ever since. I know this makes me a nerd or something, but there we are.
5. I try to find any excuse possible to include The Catcher in the Rye in my papers for classes. This one correlates pretty well with #2. During my freshman year of college, I wrote a Catcher in the Rye paper in pretty much all of my classes, including religion classes. I haven't done this so much lately, but I'm trying to bring this trend back because it makes writing papers so much easier for me. I can carry on for a while about Catcher, so it helps me to fill space.
6. I am extremely paranoid. I think everyone hates me and everyone is out to get me. I'm trying to get over this one, but it's really hard. That's why I have to sit in the back of my classes, because I don't trust having people behind me. I'm also paranoid about safety sometimes. If I come home and find that my parents left the door unlocked when they went somewhere, I have to turn on all the lights and slowly go through the house making sure nobody got inside. I'm a major door-locker. I'll lock the door if I'm just leaving for three minutes.
7. Not only do I hate Christmas music before December, I also pretty much hate most Christmas music. I am very very particular about my Christmas music because I love it so much. I hate how every single artist out there has to butcher the good Christmas songs and then invent new, poorly-written songs to induct into the "canon." Then, if that weren't bad enough, we're supposed to like all of it because "it's Christmas!" I'm not going to give up good taste just because it's Christmas. If I'm going to listen to a Christmas song, it's going to be a good song, and it's going to be sung well.
And there we have it.
1. Sometimes it takes me an hour to find a seat in the library. It's not that there aren't places to sit, it's that there aren't ones that I like. If I believed in feng shui or whatever, I'm sure it would have something to do with my chi, but I don't, so it's just a weird obsession. I don't like to have my back to people because I'm paranoid so I have to find a seat where I can have my back to a shelf or something, and it also needs to have a power outlet for my laptop. There are other factors as well, but I won't lay them all out here. I'm just really picky.
2. I try to find any excuse possible to swear in my papers for classes. The safest way to do it is to quote a more respectable person swearing, but there are other ways to sneak in scandalous tidbits as well. No matter how it's done, you just have to make sure that it shocks the reader but doesn't disturb the writing. It has to make sense. This might only be possible in the English major though. It's much easier for us to quote an "Out damn spot!" than for a biology major to curse about spirochetes or something. Meh.
3. I basically only wear one pair of jeans all the time. I know this one will gross out some people, but oh well. Any time I have ever gotten multiple pairs of jeans, I always end up singling out one pair that I like better than the others and I end up wearing that pair exclusively. On my mission I'd wear the same pair of pants until you could write messages in the dust of my pant-legs. Yeah, I'm gross, but I wasn't the only one. It was fun. We'd sit in church and write messages to each other on our legs. Good times.
4. I watch Avatar: The Last Airbender and I love it. My niece and nephew love Avatar, so I watched a few episodes with them and liked it. Since then I found a website that has all the episodes of Avatar on it (http://www.avatarchapter.com/) and I've been addicted ever since. I know this makes me a nerd or something, but there we are.
5. I try to find any excuse possible to include The Catcher in the Rye in my papers for classes. This one correlates pretty well with #2. During my freshman year of college, I wrote a Catcher in the Rye paper in pretty much all of my classes, including religion classes. I haven't done this so much lately, but I'm trying to bring this trend back because it makes writing papers so much easier for me. I can carry on for a while about Catcher, so it helps me to fill space.
6. I am extremely paranoid. I think everyone hates me and everyone is out to get me. I'm trying to get over this one, but it's really hard. That's why I have to sit in the back of my classes, because I don't trust having people behind me. I'm also paranoid about safety sometimes. If I come home and find that my parents left the door unlocked when they went somewhere, I have to turn on all the lights and slowly go through the house making sure nobody got inside. I'm a major door-locker. I'll lock the door if I'm just leaving for three minutes.
7. Not only do I hate Christmas music before December, I also pretty much hate most Christmas music. I am very very particular about my Christmas music because I love it so much. I hate how every single artist out there has to butcher the good Christmas songs and then invent new, poorly-written songs to induct into the "canon." Then, if that weren't bad enough, we're supposed to like all of it because "it's Christmas!" I'm not going to give up good taste just because it's Christmas. If I'm going to listen to a Christmas song, it's going to be a good song, and it's going to be sung well.
And there we have it.
I've combined my blogs!
The Jaded Review no longer exists. Because it sucked. Well, mostly because I'm too stupid to successfully manage two blogs at once. So I transferred all the stuff I wrote on the jaded review to my regular blog. Hurray! Now if I want to recommend anything or review anything, I'll just do it on this freaking blog instead of putting it on a second blog. I was stupid, now hopefully I'll be smart.
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